Welcome to my blog

A blog about miscarrriage, infertility, pregnancy, birth and mothering. My name is Emily and this is the story of my journey in motherhood.

Sunday, November 20, 2011


Status: 35 weeks pregnant

Each and every day I feel so amazed.

Amazed that I am carrying this life inside of me. Amazed that I have made it this far. Amazed to feel her hiccups. Amazed that after coming so far I am simply in this moment.

I am amazed to me on my maternity leave. My originally last day of work was going to be the 2nd of December, but I have been feeling such an uncontrollable urge to nest and I am tired at the end of the day and driving and just being at work is exhausting, so I asked my midwifes for a note and November 17th was my last day of work.

So far I am enjoying my maternity leave. I am getting to the laundry. (Long story, but I inherited bags of used clothing from family, so now I am washing and sorting it). I am cooking meals for my freezer. Plus just taking time to nap and get caught up on my blog. I am loving it!!

Part of me is so amazed to be on my maternity leave. When I was trying to get pregnant, I would always think, okay this is my last winter driving to work, or this time next year I will be on my mat leave, it was something I always looked forward to and now it is here and I am amazed.

Another experience I have looked forward to for a long time is taking maternity photos. I would see my friends photos and think that they looked so beautiful and look forward to getting my own done some day. Luckily for me my sister is a photographer (http://web.me.com/stonemanphotography/Stoneman_Photography/Home.html).
Here is a sneak peak:

My name is Emily. This is my journey in motherhood and I am amazed.

Birthing Goddess

Birthing Goddess and her Partner
Created November 11, 2011

Grounded and centered
Connected to Mother Earth
Squatting low
Letting gravity, letting the Universe work with her

Uterus opening
Peeling back
Expanding to new life

Spine strong

Glowing with love and life
Making room for new life

Heart beating for two
What love!
Love without beginning or end
Love that transforms and endures
Lave that withstands storms and heartaches
Love that grows

Life source
She is a source of life!
And for a time, it is enough
She lets go
Really deep down
Lets go
And embraces the unknown of Mothering
She is content simply nursing and caring
For all things there is a season
This is her season for supporting life
So lets go and simplifies

Her arms are open and flexible
Adaptable to the changes of
Able to reach heaven
And to hold her baby
And to hang on to her husband

Not thinking with logic
       or timetables
           or expectations
Thinking through her heart

Hair specked with gray
Hers and the woman supporting her
The woman she is connected to through generations

She is woman
She is pregnancy

She is brave, yet supported
She is strong, yet open
She is grounded, yet reaching

She is.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Open That Box

We are slowly getting ready for baby. I am trying just to take it one step at a time and not get overwhelmed by all the things to buy and get ready. I keep reminding myself that the best thing I can offer my little one is a healthy, happy relaxed momma and a strong marital relationship. So I am slowly getting ready and taking it one day at a time. I have been in total nesting mode and have a new found passion for cleaning and organizing and throwing things out.

A few weekends ago we got this stroller:

It's called a city select stroller. Its neat because you can use it in so many ways. We can attach our car seat to it, use it as a single stroller or add a second seat to make it a double stroller. We are being optimistic that there will be more children in this family, so we are making space for them now.

This weekend we got our carseat. It’s been sitting in the office and tonight I got the itch to open it up. I mean, what if the baby comes early and we need to use it soon? DH came up and we were about to open the box and I had a moment of panic. I mean, what if something happens? Should we really open the box? If it’s in the box we could resell it if something happens and the baby doesn’t come. DH reminded me that we need to move forward with hope, can’t always believe the worst is going to happen. So we opened that box!! And we read the instruction manual and tested everything out on Jammy Pie. Now when baby comes, we know how to use the careseat.

My name is Emily and this is my journey in motherhood.