Welcome to my blog

A blog about miscarrriage, infertility, pregnancy, birth and mothering. My name is Emily and this is the story of my journey in motherhood.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


So I don't follow all the parenting rules. Sometimes I:

  • let my baby sleep in her carseat (if we come home from some where and she is sleeping, I let her sleep in her carseat. Why mess with a good thing?)
  • nurse my baby to sleep
  • co-sleep (its seven in the morning, you will sleep better in my bed, sure, come on in)
  • co-nap (both Momma and baby benefit)
  • hold my baby while she naps
  • let my baby snuggle and nurse just for comfort

My name is Emily and this is my journey in motherhood.

(Miss)Adventures in Nursing

Okay, I LOVE nursing. Its relaxing, keeps me grounded, its easy and its good for my baby.

I am pretty open about nursing, but today I might have been too open.

I was shopping, Missy started fussing, so I went into the hallway between the stores and started nursing her in the sling. I was trying to be desecrate, keeping the end of the sling over us and just walking at the end of the hallway. This old couple comes up to me, asks "is that a little one? Can we see?" Quick, what do I do? I am assuming they can't tell I am nursing. But here is this cute couple wanting to see my baby. I tell them "oh I am nursing her", but they are old and I don't think they hear me. So not knowing what to do and not really thinking it through, I turn towards them. I think I embarrassed the older gentleman. There is my little girl, nursing away. He says "Oh I didn't know you were feeding" and quickly walks away. I immediately felt bad. I wonder what the man was thinking. Did I shock him? Did he think I was embarrassed? Who knows.

When I came home and told DH the story, we both had a good laugh. We are still laughing about it. DH wishes he had been there to see my expression.

Moral of the story: Make sure the old  man hears you when you say "I am feeding my baby".

My name is Emily and I had a good laugh today.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

What I Am Reading Now

I usually don't have a lot of time to read. I try to read a couple pages during breakfast and lunch or when Missy has gone to bed for the night. Usually I just flip them open and read a few pages here and there. These books give me a boost to keep doing what I am doing and back me up on a lot of things that I thought I just made up. For example, one day Missy was fussy in the sling so I just moved her and the sling a bit and nursed her in the sling. It was great! She fell asleep and I was able to make dinner. Then I was reading in one of these books how nursing in a sling is great for Mom and baby. Got to love it when I do things that are backed up by the experts without even knowing it!


Today I am grateful for:

1) A husband who helped me last night. Missy was fussy last night. She wouldn't nurse and I couldn't cuddle her back to sleep. DH took her in the sling and walked with her so I could rest for a bit. Then when she finally nursed he brought me a snack. I asked him just to grab me a granola bar, but he brought me that and a cut up apple. 

2) Help during church today. Missy does not like church for some reason. She is always fussy there. Maybe because we have to get her up early, maybe because they're are so many people (new sounds, new smells). I don't know. But she is not a big fan of church. We even let her wear her pjs to church thinking that she doesn't like wearing a dress and tights, but she still cries. Anyways. I was feeling discouraged a few weeks ago, thinking, is there a point in going if I am just walking the hallways? Sense telling DH this he has really been helping out at church. He takes Missy in the sling for the first two hours. He looks so handsome standing in the back of the chapel or classroom with her in the forest green sling. Also, today one of the sisters at church carried Missy for awhile so I could listen to the lesson.

3) Family. My family has been such a support lately. Last week I was feeling a little Mommied out, so I have been taking extra care this week to tap into my support network. I spent the day on Monday with my Mom, just hanging out. There is something so therapeutic about being home. Then one of my sisters came over for a sleep over during the week and helped entertain Missy while I folded laundry (something I had been trying to get to all week), watched Missy while I went to the gym and then helped take Missy swimming. I am grateful for family.

4) Art work. I sat down at my art table yesterday for the first time sense having Missy and created a piece just for myself just for the pure pleasure of creating. I kept cutting the gluing without thinking about the process or the outcome. I just created. At the end of the process I felt rejuvenated and felt the piece was reminding me that I am living my dreams. (Hopefully I can post this piece and tell you more about it latter).

5) Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the peace that comes into my life knowing that I can be forgiven of sins and shortcomings and start over. I am grateful to know that he is watching over my life. When I look at my daughter, I am reminded that he has a plan for me and that he is shaping my life, I just need to let go and trust.

My name is Emily and today I am grateful.  

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Two Months

I can't believe my little girl is two months old. Okay, really she is two and a half months old! Tomorrow she will be 11 weeks old. Here is what is new:

Our MammaRoo baby swing from Missy's Grandma.

It's pretty fancy. It has five different settings, including a car setting. Missy loves it!! It helps her calm down and she often falls asleep in it. She loves movement and spends a lot of time in her sling, but I needed a break from carrying her all the time. This works perfectly. Thank-you Grandma!

Missy smiling in the bathtub!

Missy hardly cries in the bath anymore. She used to scream and scream in the tub. Now she smiles and it seems that she actually enjoys her baths. We give her a bath almost every night and then she nurses and goes to bed.

Speaking of bed. Missy has been sleeping great!! The last two nights she has slept for about 13 hours. Yesterday I woke up at 9:45 and everyone, including DH was still asleep!! Missy and I had our exercise class at 10:30 so I had to wake her up to get her ready. Last night she went to bed at 8:00 and woke up at 9:45 today. She isn't sleeping straight. She wakes up about every 2 - 6 hours to nurse, but falls back to sleep right away. I am loving it!!! I try to go to bed early around 9 or 10 so I can get a lot of sleep too. Its great!!

Missy is starting to get a bit of a personality. She is pretty easy going. Lots of smiles. Loves to eat her blanket. Likes to go for walks. Gets fussy when she is over tired, so I am trying to watch for her sleepy signs so I can put her for a nap before she gets over tired.

I take Missy for her two month shots today. Not looking forward to it. I read this book:
and feel pretty good about getting Missy vaccinated. My naturopath gave me some cream for the injection site and some homeopathics that will help her body absorb the good stuff of the vaccine and get rid of the chemicals. So that makes me feel a bit better about it. Plus I plan on nursing her lots after. Wish me luck!!

I am loving being a Mom. Some times it gets a little crazy, like today, when Missy was in her sling and peed through her clothes and the sling. I went to change her. She spit up all over her self. I cleaned her hair. I went to change her diaper. It was very poopy! Some times every thing that can go wrong happens all at once! But I still love it.

There are moments when it could be easy to complain, the other night when we woke up at 4 in the morning and was fussing and would not go to sleep, or when she cries and cries and I can't settle her down, or when I feel like all I do is sing silly songs and clean my house, but then I remember those dark nights when I wanted a baby so bad it hurt. I remember lying in an clinic, getting tests done and just wishing for a baby. I remember the ache and I smile and I feel gratitude for this moment. For this season. And all the sudden the lack of sleep and sanity feels like a blessing. So I hold my little girl a little longer and let her snuggle in my bed in the morning and just feel love and gratitude.

My name is Emily and this is my wonderful journey in motherhood. 

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


Today I am grateful.

Today I went to my postnatal fitness class and felt grateful for a healthy body.

Today I played with my baby.

Today I held my little girl.

Today I snuggled with my husband.

Today I played the piano and sang songs for Missy.

Today I ate yummy food (smoothie for breakfast, scrambled eggs and hashbrowns for lunch, salmon for supper, dragon fruit for dessert).

Today I folded laundry. I am grateful for an abundance of clothes.

Today my baby smiled.

Today (well last night) I had the best sleep in months.

Today I choose to be happy.

Today, my name is Emily and I am enjoying my journey in Motherhood.