Welcome to my blog

A blog about miscarrriage, infertility, pregnancy, birth and mothering. My name is Emily and this is the story of my journey in motherhood.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Taking a Walk in the Darkness

Status: 6 weeks, 3 days pregnant

6 more sleeps until we go for the ultrasound. This is the farthest I have made it in a pregnancy without spotting, so that’s good. But I don’t think it’s possible for my body to miscarry right now because I am on so much progesterone and baby aspirin, I think this is keeping my body from miscarrying. So we will really know what this pregnancy is going to do once we go for the ultrasound. There are moments where DH and I go CRAZY!!! We just want to know what is going on. But I try to remember that this time will pass no matter what, so I might as well enjoy it. I am trying to focus on other things in my life, work, family, my art work.

With are first 3 pregnancies we had told our family members by this point. The only people who know right now are my parents, DH parents, my best friend and a co-worker. I really don’t feel ready to tell people. We are thinking to wait to tell people after I have passed the 12 week mark. Usually we are so excited to tell people we can’t keep it a secret, but this time, we are much more cautious.

As for signs and symptoms, I have been tired, and once I hit the 6 week mark the nausea started to kick in. It’s not really bad, just more annoying than anything else. I have vivid wild dreams, so even though I am tired, I don’t really feel like a sleep (lame). But overall I have felt pretty good, “full of life” as a co-worker put it the other day.

Over the last couple of months I have really come to believe that this whole experience of Motherhood is part of my journey, part of the earthly experience I was put on earth to experience. For whatever reason, these experiences are teaching me important life lessons that I may not have been able to learn in other ways, things like faith, patience and joy.  And so I am taking a step into the darkness, opening myself to whatever may come, knowing that God and DH and the goodness of the Universe will be there to greet me on the other side.

Truly the Lord encourages us to walk in faith to the edge of the light and beyond - into the unknown. After the trial of our faith, He once again shines the light ahead of us, and our journey of faith in every footstep continues. - M. Russell Ballard

I am trying to take good care of myself. My new job is keeping me extra busy, so I am trying to balance it out with relaxation, good food and joy.

Protecting my Inner Child

I have found a new treasure to illustrate my journey with: an Eton's Catalogue from 1901

A great find from an antique store. I can tell its going to be the inspiration for many amazing pieces.
My name is Emily. I am six weeks pregnant and right now, my pants feel tight. This is the story of my journey in Motherhood.

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