Someone at work touched my "belly" yesterday. Someone I hardly know. Someone whose name I don't even remember. They asked me, "How is the baby"? I was so surprised. I would have been almost 9 months pregnant by now. Hows the baby? It's not like I could have been hiding it in my 5'11'', 130 lb body (granted I was wearing my coat, but still...). I gave her my best "what in the world are you talking about" look. I quickly thought "How can she not know"? What's the quickest answer? Do I tell her the full story? What do I do? I go for simple this time. "There is no baby". She looks confused, mutters something about me being pregnant and walks off.
The news of my pregnancy traveled quicker then wild fire through the building and yet the news of my loss fell flat. Goes to show our inability to talk about loss in our culture. Part of that was me too, I never did say much about my loss at work. My words got lost and I was afraid people would judge and ask too many questions.
My name is Emily and this is the story of my journey in motherhood.