Welcome to my blog

A blog about miscarrriage, infertility, pregnancy, birth and mothering. My name is Emily and this is the story of my journey in motherhood.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Better Luck Next Month

Status: CD 2

My period came right on time this month.

I was so sure I was pregnant. Strange dreams, dizzy, a little nauseated, strong sense of smell. I had ALL my typical symptoms. I would have bet money I was pregnant. Maybe that strange pose I did in yoga last week, the one where my legs were in the air and then behind my head, the one that the instructor said NOT to do if I was pregnant, maybe that did something. I did feel something strange when I did the pose. Ahhh..... who knows.

No point in focusing on the past. I have a new plan for this cycle. I am going to try charting my temperature, taking progesterone cream, using preseed and an ovulation kit. Also, the naturopath recommended some vitamins and herbs to help boost DH suboptimal sperm. Here goes another month.

I did have a good cry (or two) about getting my period. And had a whole late night rant with DH how I would be completely happy without kids and would love to travel the world and pursue my career. There are moments were having kids scares me to death and I would be fine with keeping the status-quo, but then I remember the intense love I felt for each of my four babies and think that going down that path again would be alright too.

Getting my period is always fraught with mixed emotion. Feelings of despair and let down. But then I usually think of a thing or two I can do now because I am not pregnant (like start my new job without morning sickness or go backpacking). I suppose either way my life goes; there will be things to celebrate along the way.

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