This is the part of the cycle I struggle the most with, past ovulation, just waiting for my period or a pregnancy test, just waiting. No, NOT JUST WAITING, living and waiting. Or maybe just living in suspense. Or maybe.... living and trying to keep busy so I don’t go crazy.
But already I am playing mind games. Thinking everything is a sign of pregnancy, the odd smells I smelled at work today, the two naps I took, my wild dreams the past two nights and the fact I get dizzy when going from sitting to standing. Three of the four pregnancies were conceived the first month we tried, so it’s not impossible. I am going to have to wait about another week to test. (But I did just order 30 pregnancy tests for cheap from https://www.saveontests.com so I don’t bankrupt us with all these tests).
In the meantime I am finding joy in the journey.
Things I am grateful for:
1) My new job in the hospital system (my DREAM job)
2) These really yummy strawberries I got on sale this week that I have been eating with everything
3) The book that I am listing to on the way to work, The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose by Mathew Kelly, Super motivating.
4) A stress-free, easy going week at work, including an inspirational music therapy session today, followed by a relaxing expressive arts group.
5) Sunshine and warm weather
6) The DVD series “Life”
7) The ZUMBA Pool party class I am taking (Really, how can you not have fun in a pool with a bunch of woman attempting to salsa dance?)
8) A testimony of Jesus Christ
9) A best friend to vent to
10) The possibility of going to New York this summer with one of my best friends
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ReplyDeleteHi Emily,
ReplyDeleteI stumbled upon your blog by chance and felt like I should leave a comment. Reading your posts, I could almost hear myself thinking out loud...so many of the thoughts I have that you've put in words so perfectly! I've only suffered two miscarriage in the past year and ttc again now, but I can relate (at least a little bit) to your journey. To find joy in the journey, as you said, is key; for the last year, I realize I've been focusing mainly on pregnancy and everything that revolves around it, trying to do plans for a future family, so much so that I tend to forget all the good things in my PRESENT life.
I wish you all the best,
-Catherine
Thanks Catherine for stopping by and posting the first comment on this blog! I am so sorry for your losses. As I have been on this journey, I have been amazed how many women are going through this and yet it is so silent and unknown in our society. My heart goes out to you and I wish you the best of luck in TTC again.
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