Welcome to my blog

A blog about miscarrriage, infertility, pregnancy, birth and mothering. My name is Emily and this is the story of my journey in motherhood.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Joy in the Journey

Status: Day 21 of cycle, 6 days PO.

This is the part of the cycle I struggle the most with, past ovulation, just waiting for my period or a pregnancy test, just waiting. No, NOT JUST WAITING, living and waiting. Or maybe just living in suspense. Or maybe.... living and trying to keep busy so I don’t go crazy.

But already I am playing mind games. Thinking everything is a sign of pregnancy, the odd smells I smelled at work today, the two naps I took, my wild dreams the past two nights and the fact I get dizzy when going from sitting to standing. Three of the four pregnancies were conceived the first month we tried, so it’s not impossible. I am going to have to wait about another week to test. (But I did just order 30 pregnancy tests for cheap from https://www.saveontests.com so I don’t bankrupt us with all these tests).

In the meantime I am finding joy in the journey.

Things I am grateful for:
1)      My new job in the hospital system (my DREAM job)
2)      These really yummy strawberries I got on sale this week that I have been eating with everything
3)      The book that I am listing to on the way to work, The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose by Mathew Kelly, Super motivating.
4)      A stress-free, easy going week at work, including an inspirational music therapy session today, followed by a relaxing expressive arts group.
5)      Sunshine and warm weather
6)      The DVD series “Life”
7)      The ZUMBA Pool party class I am taking (Really, how can you not have fun in a pool with a bunch of woman attempting to salsa dance?)
8)      A testimony of Jesus Christ
9)      A best friend to vent to
10)  The possibility of going to New York this summer with one of my best friends


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Hi Emily,
    I stumbled upon your blog by chance and felt like I should leave a comment. Reading your posts, I could almost hear myself thinking out loud...so many of the thoughts I have that you've put in words so perfectly! I've only suffered two miscarriage in the past year and ttc again now, but I can relate (at least a little bit) to your journey. To find joy in the journey, as you said, is key; for the last year, I realize I've been focusing mainly on pregnancy and everything that revolves around it, trying to do plans for a future family, so much so that I tend to forget all the good things in my PRESENT life.
    I wish you all the best,

  3. Thanks Catherine for stopping by and posting the first comment on this blog! I am so sorry for your losses. As I have been on this journey, I have been amazed how many women are going through this and yet it is so silent and unknown in our society. My heart goes out to you and I wish you the best of luck in TTC again.