I have had mixed feelings about this new job, 75% of me has been excited to be learning new skills, meeting new people, stretching and growing myself and the other 25% of me never even expected to work in this city, I thought I would have a baby. Most of me wants to be here in this moment, but part of my heart aches for what could have been and wants to dwell on past dreams and feel miserable and not get out of bed in the morning. But I find the more I listen to the part of me that wants to live each day with passion and purpose the more that part of me grows.
This weekend will mark the anniversary from when we lost our second baby, "our little monkey" as we called it. (That will be a blog post all of it's own). So my heart has been a little heavy with past memories. I want to do something special this weekend to remember our little one. I am thinking of lighting a candle and just remembering and honouring that little life I held inside of me and the joy and heartache that it brought into my life.
So with all these crazy emotions and experiences, my new job, the anniversary of my little monkey, I decided to take a wellness day. I went for a massage, went to Chapters (one of my favourite stores), took a nap and did some art work.
Things I am grateful for today:
1) My grandparents who are an example to me of faith, compassion and a strong marriage
2) Yummy tea
3) A hubby who cleaned the kitchen today
4) Sitting in a steam room (not really sure if I should have done that as I am ttc, but what ever, it was relaxing, so I figured that was helpful and healthy)
5) The best berry crisp and frozen yogurt I have ever had
6) A nap
7) A warm shower
8) Wearing my favourite socks (they are knee high mismatched socks)
9) Curly Hair
10) My blog
I have a Queen inside who listens for what delights the soul. - Rumi
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